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6 Levels of Finding the Perfect Boyfriend

Patrick Garcia in his younger years
Most, if not all girls, have a list of standards. I say that because I used to have a list of the same sort. I’ve lost it a decade ago—in elementary but there were two men—fine—boys who scored perfect! Laugh now, while you’ve got the chance. One of them was, yes, Patrick Garcia. (Imagine me laughing out loud with you). Were you one of us? Did you ever make up a list of your own standards in men? If you did, was it effective? I’d say mine was as flawless as my newly cleaned screen. I do not remember the items on my list since it’s been years since I had it. But I’d say its effectiveness serves me well up to this very day.

I remember having 25 items on that list. I wrote it at the back of a small blue notebook that I bring to church every Sunday or Saturday and each time I meet a boy or see a boy I like—apparently even the ones I see on TV, I check the items and see how they scored. Funny how some even got a score of one or zero and I have them crossed out from my, as I called them, “prospects.” And after failing the test, they no longer exist in my world as a possible husband, or boyfriend at the least. They just stay in that status—friend, classmate, playmate, sometimes even...stranger boy.

Whatever it says of my upbringing as a child, I’m proud of it although it is something I might really be embarrassed about once people come to me and tell me they’ve read this. I am glad that I wrote that list. The man who would hold my future shall have all the 25 qualities on my list. He fails if he lacks one. On that list, he should be perfect. If he passes, he’ll move on to the next level in the ladder of success to my heart.

Perfect Boyfriend

Level 1. Pass or Fail

That ‘list of standards’ may be a piece of paper but to me it was a document on which my future will be based. It was a matter of life and love. Few of them have passed but at the time of the list’s conception, two boys passed my very high bar. Patrick was one. Obviously, he’s a little impossible to approach and I think I cheated on some of the items especially just for him. But moving up a level doesn’t automatically open the gates for those who were fortunate. They were actually up for a more difficult climb.

Level 2. Study and Research

Years of study and research will follow, making sure that he was worthy to pass the first 25 items. At this level I try to find out if we could be good friends, talk randomly with no discomfort or awkwardness, what he talks about, his reaction to what I say, if we click and have fun, what he says when I go silent, if he makes me laugh, and the best and most important thing at this level—if he is at all interested.

It cannot and should never be one-sided, except for Patrick. Still, unrequited love is not my forever. And nor should it be anyone’s. God created us to give love and be loved.

Level 3. Years of Friendship

He becomes part of my group of friends. We hang-out, bond, chat, and share homework. The getting-to-know stage of a relationship should start a good amount of time before you actually move on to courting or even dating each other. There are tests in the course of friendship that reveal trustworthiness and loyalty. And after unknowingly being put to the test, is he still interested?

Level 4. More Years of Friendship

Yes, more of that. Because I will not and cannot resort to Patrick Garcia as my only option and I am beyond doubt in no hustle. This level does not test, instead it gets close. It’s certainly at a higher intensity. No relationship is better than friendship. For example, you can have a relationship with your mom but maybe you’re not friends. Imagine, if you are in a relationship with a non-relative guy and you’re not even friends. Relationships that are not founded on friendship rarely last.

Level 5. Courtship-slash-Mutual Understanding Status

Beyond the friend-zone is this idea of mutual understanding when a flourish of tingling feelings (a.k.a. kilig in Tagalog) envelops you. Let’s all clap and congratulate the very promising dude. He has gone through the tough and harsh assessment that no one else during that day and age seemed willing to undertake. I wouldn’t submit myself to that, if I were him, and yet he did—willingly submit. And because of that I am glad.

Level 6. This is IT!

This stage reveals that he is a tough one. At this very high altitude where oxygen is almost not free, he’d probably feel suffocated. So if he doesn’t go running off to the lowlands, it’s a really good sign. Well, he shouldn’t because this is the finish line of the initial elimination round he decided to train for. He should be prepared for the marathon of his life. He could keep his hopes up that we’ll be running it hand in hand.

Perfect Boyfriend

It’s not always a happy ending. Like any game of life, finding the guy whom you can spend a lifetime with is like a hit and miss, trial and error game. And like any game in real life, when you lose, you’re just gonna have to get back up and start all over again, from level zero. But starting from the ground isn’t always bad. It’s a chance for fresh learning, new beginnings, unlimited opportunities. 

Disclaimer: There’s no such thing as a perfect boyfriend, but in real life, there is a person who is our perfect match.

I brought my list with me and into the world where I accept there are a lot of imperfections. And despite the existing flaws of the earth, I wanted to strive for excellence. It not that I am asking a lot in a man who I deserve and will spend at least some of my life with, it’s because I know in my heart that I am worth a lot. Happy endings don’t happen everyday. It’s a result of your decision to make your relationship work, survive humps and bumps and thrive in this life.

Image Credit: Twitter, singleinatl.com

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