With
February 14 just around the corner, I’ve thought of digging up an old journal
entry because I can’t think of any recent Valentine’s
Day drama worth writing about. Technically, there’s none because all is
well between him and I. So here
goes the entry dated 2/06/2007.
What’s with Valentine’s Day?
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I never
believed in St. Valentine’s anyway, so I have no obligation to feel mushy
during this so called love month. In fact, there never was a “red tapestry all over the city” (as my old poem says) feel for me in all the V-season there ever was. To think that
only couples have the right to celebrate on a single day is far worse than to
think that only that single day is important for couples. I believe that any
day is a special day when you love someone and that love should not only be for
one exclusive person alone because love is also for family, friends, and even
enemies.
Who is
this St. Valentine’s anyway? Is he as much of a legend as the St. Nicholas they
idolize during Christmas season? Maybe he was a special person who lived and
have exemplified something noteworthy the way a certain Nicholas sparked the
spirit of giving which have been the theme of every Christmas there was ever
since. Maybe his was about love.
As for me,
as I have stated, I believe that any day is special when you love – family,
friends, and even enemies. Thus, as usual, the way all the Valentine’s Day which
ever came, I will treat it like any other ordinary day. I will not bother to
view it the way seemingly worshippers of that famous day see it: red cards,
chocolates, flowers, balloons, a date, love songs, etc. Neither will I treat it
with distaste the way some forsaken lovers hate it so much because it reminds
them of the treachery they have suffered from a former lover; nor is the way
other lonely people disdain it because in their experience being alone, they
think of themselves so lowly like there’s something wrong with them.
So next
week, come Valentine’s Day, God-willing, I’d just go to work as usual and go
home to watch CSI afterwards. But if I’m
lucky, I might spend time with some friends who are not exclusively dating
someone. The feeling of envy for those who do have someone on that day won’t
pull me down. I may even watch all of them kiss each other for Close Up’s
Lovapalooza event.
I have
much too many things to think about anyway to be bothered by a day. Come to
think of it, why the fuss to write about it? But just the same, I think about
how dirty the house is when I am busy at work. I could at least clean it during
the times I stay at home. I think about when will their new house ever be
finished? I think about why those people whom I don’t want have anything to do
with anymore still bother to try communicating with me when I could actually
spat at their carcasses in my anger? I think about why I still think about this
guy when I shouldn’t anymore? I think about how I was fooled once again and how
foolish of me to be fooled again this way? I think about that maybe I still
love this guy despite of my anger towards him because of that treachery he did
with the lier of a girl I once worked with or that maybe I just remember the
guy but I don’t remember the feeling anymore? I think about just letting myself
loose over this fight and leave that work yet I think about where would I be
now and what would I do in case I leave? I am too preoccupied with these
thoughts to even be troubled by Valentine’s Day.
I have
always been away from any bandwagon of some sort anyway. I don’t ride with the
majority ever so often. Even in romance, I don’t believe in destiny and soul mates
or whatever. I’d rather believe in chemical romances; that this little
hypothalamus and the hormones it releases trigger certain emotions like elation
when one is with the person he is attracted to including attraction and sexual
reaction. Not that I contradict the truth that God has something to do with
destiny (it’s God’s will as the Bible puts it). Also, the fact remains that
only He is wise enough to anatomically create a body as intricate as that of a
human: brains and heart with hypothalamus and all that with how each single
little part works. Reality check as well; the ratio of a male versus a female
in the world’s population is 1:4; not to mention that in every 7 male, only one
is straight and the rest are gays. That being the case, the so-called destined
person for one could not likely be possible. I still believe in the element of “choice”
and how God gave us wisdom to choose who to marry. We should not curse those
who are trapped in arranged marriages as if God did not bless them with a
marriage based on love.
Just the
same, I do not agree with those who hate Valentine’s Day and love itself because
they are still alone or have become alone because their lover betrayed them. As
they say, don’t hate the player but hate the game. It is not V-day or love
which is worthy of hate but the act of lies, betrayal, and deception from a
former love which must be hated. Also, when God closes doors, He opens windows.
As the late Aaliyah sings it, “If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off
and try again.” That applies not only to failures in life but also in love and
relationships. Besides, love finds its form not only in exclusive boy meets
girl relationships but also in love for God, for family, for friends, and nobly
even for enemies. Let’s not curse those who never married too as if God did not
delight in granting them a partner in life. It could be solely their choice,
the way some never marry due to religious devotions and it doesn’t necessarily
mean that there’s something wrong with their personality which repels the
opposite sex.
So how is
a day, especially Valentine’s Day spent? As for me, as I have said, I will
treat it like any other ordinary day. But everyday can be special if we live it
that way, as if it is the very first day of our lives. Enjoy every moment, each
simple pleasure like the sunlight, the wind, the very air we breathe, a smile
from anyone, a hug, a text, a call, a few exchanges of hi’s and hellos. There’s
just too much to be happy and celebrate about even in ordinary days. You can
also go out with friends or family. You can even stay at home and read a book,
write something, watch TV, play music, etc. There are much too may to be
enjoyed even in solitude during that mistakenly for couples only day.
How about those
who have someone to spend it with? Mushy or corny stuffs won’t hurt: the usual
date with cards, chocolates, flowers, balloons, pillows, stuff toys, and all. You
can also offer a poem, a song, a candle light dinner at home, a walk at the
beach or in the park, and do other corny things one can think of for the sake
of a chemical romance or love as we call it.
I never
believed in St. Valentine’s Day but I believe in love, friendship, family;
loyalty, honesty, and even forgiveness. I believe that Valentine’s Day is for
everyone and that everyday can be a Valentine’s Day.
********
I’m sorry
if this is really such a Valentine’s Day
drama type of post but I know that most of it strikes home where the target
is, the heart.
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