Learning the Art of Letting Go

I know. The title is too heavy. But that’s the only way I could put it. The question about letting go has been bugging every inch of me and I needed my nerves to settle by getting some answers. I needed to let go of excess baggage. I asked around and got some answers. Answers I’m not 100% sure of except they’re all worth the try.

How do you let go?

credit: a Wattpad story with the same title

There is said to be a process—a step after every bit of step course that you have to go through for you to be able to let go. If you’re letting go of your life’s dream, a sudden and very unfortunate heartbreak, or maybe even worse, loss of a loved one. These or just a few bad hair days, stress from work, a lost cellphone or money, hacked Facebook account, losing a bet, not getting your regular dose of good morning tweet messages from your dear boyfriend, betrayal of a trusted friend, not waking up on time, not sleeping on time, not having enough sleep, not having money or not having anything to eat until the next payday, or even worse, being ignored by your crush at work!

If we try to fit in all the troubles, problems, stress-causing dilemmas of a person’s—and by that I mean me, of course—daily existence in font size one, this page might still not suffice. But in the course of my extensive research (naks!) I have come to learn that (tan-tan-nan-naaan!) they are just a dot in the vastness of our life at its simplest. Yes, as in a pickle of dust, which you would usually not even bother to notice amongst the billions and billions of particles along the busy streets of EDSA.

So…How should you start letting go?

Please remember that these should be followed chronologically. Yes, I’m serious. It does not rely on your personality or how you manage stress, etcetera. Follow what I say, step by step, like a major-ly and overly detailed eggplant parmigiana recipe. Trust me, I’m very learned at this. Check out my long line of plaques, trophies, and MA diplomas.

First: Grieve, feel upset, cry, hurt, shout, be sad, get depressed, or at the very least—react. Expressing what you feel is a natural human instinct. Keeping it all in is very, very selfish, in one way or another.

A very great-grand-dad wrote a very ancient time ago, “If you want to be happy, BE,” then that means that if you’re not happy, don’t be. Do not deprive yourself—your physical body included, to personify and deeply internalize, what you really feel for a certain period of time.

Don’t take too much time, though. There is a really huge possibility that it will take you forever to be in the grieving stage. This will depend on how heavy the loss is for you. Please consider your priorities, principles and personality. If it’s not in any of these, it’s not worth wasting an emotion for.

Second: Breathe. Allow yourself to NOT think for a sec. Check your heart. Assess how you really feel about it. Does it really matter that much to you? Contemplate.

In the end, decide that it is not a need after all. If it were a need, as per your judgment, then tell yourself “it’s not for you,” or “it’s not meant to be,” “or it’s not in the Great plan.” I know these are just excuses to avoid realizing the truth that sometimes, it’s your own fault why these series of unfortunate events happen to you and only you, but they work, so shut up and try it.

credit: joeyo.org

Third: Accept. Admit that it cannot happen or you’ve already lost the battle and there’s most likely nothing you can do about it—if that is a fact, of course, and after maybe trying everything and exhausting all efforts to do try and make things work.

Believe that there is a better future waiting—a light at the end of the tunnel. I know you’re probably thinking I’m already talking crap now—a very uninteresting subject and you’ve heard and read all about this same thing before. Again, I’m talking about attitude. Be the master of your feelings. Learn to teach your very intelligent and knowledgeable hypothalamus that say YES.

Remember that there is always something in life to be thankful for, because hear this, THERE IS.

Fourth: Divert your attention. Find another passion. Build on that. Do not lose hope in life. Life should move on after we get defeated in a battle. If we lost a foot in the battle, we should not stay stranded in one place. We still have the other foot, and we should be very thankful that we’re still a breathing, living, element of nature. Still alive and growing and can still make kids.

Find something better—if not good in your life. When Voldemort asked Harry, “Why do you live?” he simply answered, “Because I have some worth living for.” The truth is, as long as we live, we have something worth living for. We just have to find it.

Again, you’re thinking that’s so immature. How can you find something worth living for after losing a significant piece of ourselves? You’re looking at it at a very different angle. Try mine.

See, if you were able to grieve properly, think properly, and accept your downfall at the beginning of this exercise, you should be able to seek a better reason to continue gasping for air after every exhale. And every inhale means too much because we both know that you are stronger, braver, and better than ever before.

(Optional) Fifth: Dream again. Want. Love. Take a risk. Trust again. Do not be afraid to get hurt again. Yes, we both know that you have learned your lesson and this part is officially the biggest BS I’ve ever attempted to publish. Having been hurt before doesn’t mean you should hinder yourself from trying again.

Life is a constant battle. You learn something new at every pit stop but you don’t have to be stuck there and stop moving or growing. Growth is a sign of life, so LIVE!

Congratulations! You now have the biggest secret ever kept from mankind! Use it wisely.