Old Journal Entry for a Valentine’s Day Drama

With February 14 just around the corner, I’ve thought of digging up an old journal entry because I can’t think of any recent Valentine’s Day drama worth writing about. Technically, there’s none because all is well between him and I. So here goes the entry dated 2/06/2007.

What’s with Valentine’s Day?

Valentine’s Day drama
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I never believed in St. Valentine’s anyway, so I have no obligation to feel mushy during this so called love month. In fact, there never was a “red tapestry all over the city” (as my old poem says) feel for me in all the V-season there ever was. To think that only couples have the right to celebrate on a single day is far worse than to think that only that single day is important for couples. I believe that any day is a special day when you love someone and that love should not only be for one exclusive person alone because love is also for family, friends, and even enemies.

Who is this St. Valentine’s anyway? Is he as much of a legend as the St. Nicholas they idolize during Christmas season? Maybe he was a special person who lived and have exemplified something noteworthy the way a certain Nicholas sparked the spirit of giving which have been the theme of every Christmas there was ever since. Maybe his was about love.

As for me, as I have stated, I believe that any day is special when you love – family, friends, and even enemies. Thus, as usual, the way all the Valentine’s Day which ever came, I will treat it like any other ordinary day. I will not bother to view it the way seemingly worshippers of that famous day see it: red cards, chocolates, flowers, balloons, a date, love songs, etc. Neither will I treat it with distaste the way some forsaken lovers hate it so much because it reminds them of the treachery they have suffered from a former lover; nor is the way other lonely people disdain it because in their experience being alone, they think of themselves so lowly like there’s something wrong with them.

So next week, come Valentine’s Day, God-willing, I’d just go to work as usual and go home to watch CSI afterwards. But if I’m lucky, I might spend time with some friends who are not exclusively dating someone. The feeling of envy for those who do have someone on that day won’t pull me down. I may even watch all of them kiss each other for Close Up’s Lovapalooza event. 

I have much too many things to think about anyway to be bothered by a day. Come to think of it, why the fuss to write about it? But just the same, I think about how dirty the house is when I am busy at work. I could at least clean it during the times I stay at home. I think about when will their new house ever be finished? I think about why those people whom I don’t want have anything to do with anymore still bother to try communicating with me when I could actually spat at their carcasses in my anger? I think about why I still think about this guy when I shouldn’t anymore? I think about how I was fooled once again and how foolish of me to be fooled again this way? I think about that maybe I still love this guy despite of my anger towards him because of that treachery he did with the lier of a girl I once worked with or that maybe I just remember the guy but I don’t remember the feeling anymore? I think about just letting myself loose over this fight and leave that work yet I think about where would I be now and what would I do in case I leave? I am too preoccupied with these thoughts to even be troubled by Valentine’s Day.

I have always been away from any bandwagon of some sort anyway. I don’t ride with the majority ever so often. Even in romance, I don’t believe in destiny and soul mates or whatever. I’d rather believe in chemical romances; that this little hypothalamus and the hormones it releases trigger certain emotions like elation when one is with the person he is attracted to including attraction and sexual reaction. Not that I contradict the truth that God has something to do with destiny (it’s God’s will as the Bible puts it). Also, the fact remains that only He is wise enough to anatomically create a body as intricate as that of a human: brains and heart with hypothalamus and all that with how each single little part works. Reality check as well; the ratio of a male versus a female in the world’s population is 1:4; not to mention that in every 7 male, only one is straight and the rest are gays. That being the case, the so-called destined person for one could not likely be possible. I still believe in the element of “choice” and how God gave us wisdom to choose who to marry. We should not curse those who are trapped in arranged marriages as if God did not bless them with a marriage based on love.

Just the same, I do not agree with those who hate Valentine’s Day and love itself because they are still alone or have become alone because their lover betrayed them. As they say, don’t hate the player but hate the game. It is not V-day or love which is worthy of hate but the act of lies, betrayal, and deception from a former love which must be hated. Also, when God closes doors, He opens windows. As the late Aaliyah sings it, “If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again.” That applies not only to failures in life but also in love and relationships. Besides, love finds its form not only in exclusive boy meets girl relationships but also in love for God, for family, for friends, and nobly even for enemies. Let’s not curse those who never married too as if God did not delight in granting them a partner in life. It could be solely their choice, the way some never marry due to religious devotions and it doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s something wrong with their personality which repels the opposite sex.

So how is a day, especially Valentine’s Day spent? As for me, as I have said, I will treat it like any other ordinary day. But everyday can be special if we live it that way, as if it is the very first day of our lives. Enjoy every moment, each simple pleasure like the sunlight, the wind, the very air we breathe, a smile from anyone, a hug, a text, a call, a few exchanges of hi’s and hellos. There’s just too much to be happy and celebrate about even in ordinary days. You can also go out with friends or family. You can even stay at home and read a book, write something, watch TV, play music, etc. There are much too may to be enjoyed even in solitude during that mistakenly for couples only day.

How about those who have someone to spend it with? Mushy or corny stuffs won’t hurt: the usual date with cards, chocolates, flowers, balloons, pillows, stuff toys, and all. You can also offer a poem, a song, a candle light dinner at home, a walk at the beach or in the park, and do other corny things one can think of for the sake of a chemical romance or love as we call it.

I never believed in St. Valentine’s Day but I believe in love, friendship, family; loyalty, honesty, and even forgiveness. I believe that Valentine’s Day is for everyone and that everyday can be a Valentine’s Day.

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I’m sorry if this is really such a Valentine’s Day drama type of post but I know that most of it strikes home where the target is, the heart. 
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